I’m Steve. If you picture what a normal person my age is supposed to look and act like, then I’m pretty much the opposite of whatever idea you might have in your head. I follow my own star and do my own thing and I don’t apologize for it. I’m not really all that interested in money or fame or status or many other of the things “normal” people obsess and stress over. I have Asperger’s syndrome. This is a developmental disorder on the autism spectrum. I am self diagnosed, which means I read a lot of information on the internet, took many tests designed to measure this sort of thing, asked many questions of my parents, considered my own memories as carefully and objectively as possible, and reached the conclusion that this disorder best explains the unusual qualities of myself that I have been acutely aware of since childhood. It is difficult and very expensive to obtain a doctor’s diagnosis as an adult, and there is really no tangible benefit to doing so. You will no doubt here much more about it if you read this blog. Speaking of which, I’d like to state simply my reasons for beginning this blog.
Firstly, I’m pretty bad at interpersonal communication and express my ideas a lot better in writing when I have time to think about exactly what I want to say and exactly how to say it. I’m hoping to share some of my thoughts with my friends and family so they can come to know me better and so I can communicate the kind of person I am in a way that I simply can’t through normal interaction.
Secondly, I like to think I have some interesting ideas, and I’d like to think other interesting people might enjoy hearing them. I generally don’t do much socializing since I generally find it taxing and tiresome. I tend to limit it to the people in my immediate family and friends with whom I’m comfortable and familiar. As a result, my interesting ideas tend to stay in my head until they run over and over and become tiring even for me. Putting them down here will be a way to get them out of my head so they aren’t forgotten and lost forever in the disordered flotsam of my mind.
Thirdly, living with Asperger syndrome, and other mental disorders, is a challenge. These disorders are just as real and debilitating as any physical disorder or ailment might be. For many, like Asperger’s, there is no cure nor any reliable treatment. Even so, those who suffer with mental disorders are often looked upon as ‘lazy’ or ‘weak’ and looked down upon in a way that no decent person would look down upon someone with diabetes or cancer or heart disease. It is my intention to post from time to time on the challenges faced by us, in the hopes that those with compassion might look at mental disorders the same way they do visible disorders and illnesses.
Lastly, I may occasionally use this blog as a way to share my opinions on current events or politics or even mundane things like sports or video games. I apologize in advance for being a bit too opinionated for my own good. I make no claim to having more insight than those more experienced and more educated who will certainly disagree. I claim no superior intelligence and my ideas have no more nor less significance than others. If I appear to have too much confidence in my own opinions from time to time, it is because time has, at least thus far, proven many of them correct. Take that as you will. This is not a political or opinion blog so I intend these to be somewhat rare.
There you have it. If you actually read all that, you can see I’m quite verbose. This is only the logical outcome of the page and word count requirements that accompanied every essay I ever wrote from sixth grade onward. We should always carefully consider the consequences of our actions, both intended and unintended, but I’m rambling off topic. I apologize in advance for more of that also, and with that…